How can I get over the hurt of an infidelity?
Written by admin on March 20, 2009 – 4:18 am -I have been married for 20 years and about 3 years ago my husband was unfaithful to me. He denies it, but I know that he was. I still can’t get over his betrayal. What should I do to get over that?
Well if he denies it still, it will be hard for you to get over it. He needs to acknowledge his mistake and apologize and earn your trust again. But I do hope you have more than a gut feeling here because this is a huge accusation to make and if he really did not cheat, the false accusation is damaging to the relationship. Good luck to you! 
Mary in Camden, MI
Posted in infidelity | 10 Comments »
By Mike on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
I tried for 5 years and the fighting got so bad …..I had to divorce my cheating wife. Its heartbreaking…if you want.I can help, just email me.
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By LHJ on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
If you have absolute proof then the first thing is for him to admit it and ask for your forgiveness. After that you guys are in for a lot of marriage counseling if you are going to stay together.
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By Kevin R on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
The whole concept that a man will never ever be with someone else is
illogical and a fantasy . What you should focus on is the state of your relationship instead .
If he loves you and you love him , then focus on that and try to build a strong bond with him . If you intend to go on being resentful and bitter
you might as well find someone else . Let it go and release your pain and anger .
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By Kevvin on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
The reason that he still denys it brings a bit of consolation, please do not ruminate on it it will eat you alive turns you paranoid and a very sad person. He is yours if he wasn’t he would have gone.
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By Brandi on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
Because you choice to stay at the time that you knew it was taken place you really can’t get mad about it now. You say that you KNOW that he was cheating although he denys it. Do you have proof? What makes you so sure that it happened? this would be a great time to find some help outside of the marraige.
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By Kaliu3W on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
You are betrayed. What makes you think you should ‘get over it’?? Nooooo……..you DON’T ever get over it!! Betrayal is a violation of trust. He violated your trust, and destroyed any faith you had in him. If you want to work on your marriage, that’s fine, get into Marriage Counseling to address that. But it will never leave your mind, and you will never be able to forget it.
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By Dream on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
Is your proof solid? Without solid proof & his admitting it is hard. If it is, why won’t he tell you? Because he thinks you’ll leave him. Do you love him? Do you think he loves you? Can you sit & talk rationally, without blame & try & get him to understand where you are coming from? Good Luck.
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life experience
By Buster on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
this happened to me for 10 years,and 2 kids. you shouldn’t have to get over it you are not the one who made a mistake. i know its hard but you need to think about what is best for you and get on with your life.
if you need someone to talk to your welcome to email me good luck
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By maryannmccarthy2003 on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
Well if he denies it still, it will be hard for you to get over it. He needs to acknowledge his mistake and apologize and earn your trust again. But I do hope you have more than a gut feeling here because this is a huge accusation to make and if he really did not cheat, the false accusation is damaging to the relationship. Good luck to you!
Mary in Camden, MI
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By j917p on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
wow he still wont fess up? hhmmmm………. Im usually one to encourage restoration of broken marriages but the whole lying thing still sits heavy. time will heal most but you both need to want it to. Love is made it doesnt just happen like sex and history will repeat itself if positive actions are not taken to avoid it fron doing that. Pray, often. learn tot do it together and out loud. try taking turns, it will become awkward at first but soon it will be natural. Good Luck, God Bless
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