Why do some women stay in bad relationships?
Written by admin on April 6, 2009 – 1:01 pm -I watched my Mom while growing up always unhappy and subservient to my Dad. Worked in a Domestic Violence Shelter for a few years and saw hundreds of women who had been treated badly. Now my daughter is in a controlling marriage. Who is happy being with the same person for years and years? It doesn't appeal to me at all! I prefer to stay single and have many male and female friends and love my family and give to the community. This is just the way I feel; are there other people out there who feel the same way?
they claim a woman will go back into a bad relationship many times before she decides its over. people stay because they fear the future, fear being alone and without financially. if they have been controlled for years or abused they may feel that its a normal thing if they have had their self worth stripped away. some people feel safe in a controlled marriage believe it or not.
Posted in bad relationships | 15 Comments »
By Branden on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Women are like that. Seriously, there's girls at my school who will literally be called whore and slut daily and what do you know? Three days later they're back together. I mean wtf.
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By lost on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Its complicated but they want it
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By Javier169 on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
cuz they enjoy the drama and feel weird when someone good is around…they are so used to the bad that they cant seem to enjoy the good…its kinda strange in a way. I stayed with my wife for a long time even after she cheated in my own home a few times…I stayed…I dont know why. I am still attracted to that a bit too…I met really good females and I just dont feel right sround them…like its weird to actually meet someone normal…you dont know how tor eact…like its not normal for a female to be normal because you are used to crazyness.
Maybe its the same for females with their men too i dont know
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By LafemmeNikita on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
I agree with you on that. But the reality is something else. Some women would never dream of giving up on their relationship though they are unhappy. No idea why they choose to. But, I guess that is how it is. I guess they would rather be with someone and be unhappy than be single I guess.
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By Kristina on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Lots of reasons.
Why do people stay in fat bodies?
Why do people stay in bad jobs?
Why do people stay lazy?
Why do people stay mean?
I mean the reasons are individual. People must not like happiness much!
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By alwayswvgirl on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Low self esteem
Lack of opportunity
Fear
Lack of resources
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By jude on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
they claim a woman will go back into a bad relationship many times before she decides its over. people stay because they fear the future, fear being alone and without financially. if they have been controlled for years or abused they may feel that its a normal thing if they have had their self worth stripped away. some people feel safe in a controlled marriage believe it or not.
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By Marie_(Canada) on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Some people stay in bad relationship bound by the emotions and hope. While others remain unhappily involved based on preference, security or just because they are addicted to that person. Afraid of being alone and of the unknown.
They're prisoners of love giving themselves reasons for staying in it that do not hold water or that are not really strong enough to balance the negatives in the relationship.
Very sad because they are just wasting their life away.
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By Pain_of_Unhappiness2 on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
BECAUSE….they are in deep, deep love with them, even though that might not get enough hot sex or immense deep happiness from them.
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By UaskIanswer on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Don't know but most Men her abuse there wife's, take control right away so they are to scared too leave! it all mind games!!!! And when you find out and learn how this is not right! it is too late to leave!
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By Demo-brat on Apr 6, 2009 | Reply
Well; I don't know exactly what you are referring to by subservient here. If you mean physical abuse, there are many emotional and psychological aspects involved with that and it is very hard for a woman to deal with. If you are simply referring to the very common belief that the man's word is law; that is another story. It is a matter of choice and some women simply choose to live that way. Some, believe it or not, cannot survive if they had to make the decisions.
I was very pleased to hear that you worked with a Domestic Violence Shelter. I am seeking one to donate time and money to in an effort to help stamp out domestic violence. Will U e-mail me? I would like to discuss this further.
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By nancybuck8 on Apr 7, 2009 | Reply
I too was in a bad violent relationship when I was 19, my marriage lasted 4 years and 2 kids later. It was fear and security that kept me there for awhile. I am older and my 2 kids have grown up, now my oldest son is abusive to his gf, they also have a child, this happens from his father who continued having abusive relationships with other women after ours long ended. Sadly he became this way because he had no respect for women due to his own mother putting him on a pedestal and doting on him constantly. Let me tell you she was and still is something else. I am glad my husband today is a wonderful man and treats me very good. There is hope for women out there, they just have to be strong and get over the fear of leaving the relationship.
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By ruth on Apr 7, 2009 | Reply
Because they weigh them on a scales and in their own personal thinking, the good outweighs the bad. Love does this to us, especially us women. Plus, they can always look out there and judge other women and decide their life is better, because someone out there has it worse, and this is always true.
Believe it or not, your mother and your daughter might look at your life and decide they like theirs better. I have friends and family who I know use my single mom, professional woman status to feel better about their marriages and guess what? I actually help them do it when I know the biggest problem they have is just boredom and/or lack of money.
Like you, I am proud of the path I have chosen, but I will be honest and say it does get lonely from time to time. Would I take abuse to be in a relationship? No, but I also recognize no man is perfect–he just has to be perfect for me.
The belief that "love conquers all" is a powerful one. Another factor is that many women grew up in homes where they saw abuse or adultery and they cannot get rid of the belief that "all men do it." I've even seen this said here many times.
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Divorce atty// criminal defense atty (hired by victims to defend their alleged abusers)
By Rene mit on Apr 7, 2009 | Reply
some of us (men and women) are afraid of being alone…old…aged…and alone!
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By Lela A on Apr 7, 2009 | Reply
Women don't think that they deserve any better..they don't realize how good life can be away from their abusers..they need professional intervention and serious counseling for the abuse that they have endured. One can break free of abuse, working hard at becoming a new person and discovering themselves over time..
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DV survivor, 10 years of abuse free living