Am I doomed to have bad romantic relationships?
Written by admin on March 20, 2009 – 4:18 am -I realize that my relationship with my dad has a lot to do with my romantic relationships? I have had many that just haven’t worked out. I’m 26 and have yet to have a serious relationship. Not even one to last longer than 6 months. My relationship with my dad has always been weird. My parents are married so I grew up with him in our house. He’s just not an affectionate person and emotionally unavailable and can be just down right mean. We’ve never had the traditional father-daughter relationship. I felt growing up that he just flat out didn’t like me.I know this has had an effect because I have a had a hard time maintaining relationships. Such as not recognizing when a guy stops liking me. How to tell if he likes me or asking for what I need from a relationship. I just makes me feel just plain guilty.
What gives? Does this mean that I’m probably stuck with stupid relationships? How do I change this behavior?
first let me explain romantic how that works!
romance only comes when its new, its unavailable, its hidden, its not out there for sale!
now the way to have a good romantic relationship is: to not always be available, not always be there for them (so to speak you don’t have to give your entire self away the first second, it gets unexciting and unattractive!) that’s when the men usually stop being interested its boring they can always have you. they give you a call your there, they ask you for something you put it out there for them, this is not called being a good person its called not giving the ability to have romance that’s all! don’t be with him all the time! give him space to breath give him a chane he should be calling you too!
that’s also how you will know if a man is not interested in you any longer, he just wont be calling you!
so with your father the same don’t be there so much for him, let him miss you! let him call you! and i hope it will all work out there for you!
work this out! and you will thank me!
much success on that its hard the first bit, but it pays off its a good feeling to feel they are interested in you for not always being there!
(absence makes a heart grow fonder)
Posted in bad relationships | 7 Comments »
By bighomefry on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
Follow your conscience
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By FoxyKev on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
I don't think anyone is "doomed" to anything.
Also, I don't think anyone had a perfect, traditional family life.
I think maybe you could just use a smack on the head and wake up. It's probably just that you met a bunch of jerks who wanted sex only or something.
It takes time to find the right person and you're only 26 – which is still kind of like a teenager these days. You are just starting to get impatient because you haven't found the right person yet.
Join the club.
Hint: Force yourself to enjoy dating and being single – people are attracted to the ones who are having fun… not the party-poopers who promise only problems and whining.
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By Derek on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
Start trying to notice a guy’s emotions, although as a dude I know we try to hide it. Just make sure you take note of their behavior and before one tells you he likes you remember how he was acting. See if there is a pattern you’ll start to learn.
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By muntajab on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
I don't believe it is easy to change it. You need to be aware of everything you do with your boyfriend, and set yourself free from this kind of projection. It takes time, and efforts. It needs courage as well. it needs also a kind of commitment to what you set yourself for.
Now as a begining, it could be an insight you gained about the relationships between your romantic life, and your family life. the type of men you choose, and the one you used to admire during your childhood. the way you react to them… the way you think of them… the reasons why you are attracted to them…
I don't believe as well that any change is possible unless you could change your attitude and relationship with your father first.
And of course, working on it with a therapist would make it much easier and faster in progress.
I wish you good luck; i have a similar problem.
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By ღTavaliciousღ on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
I am in a similiar situation, I grew up without a father figure/male figure around, and I have always craved that unconditional love from men, I also don’t know when a guy stops being interested, it’s like what should be a sign just isn’t for me…
that being said, it doesn’t mean that we won’t ever experience true love, i say keep being you, and if there is something about you that you don’t like then change it, but other than that, the right man will come along and treat you in a way that you have never experienced before when the time is right.
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By Jennifer O on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
I suggest finding a women’s support group. You can probably find one by contacting a battered women’s shelter or through a YMCA. You might also want to check out a personal therapist who is used to dealing with women who have a history of bad relationships. Once again a battered women’s shelter can make a recommendation. Even if you have not been physically or sexually abused you have definitely been emotionally abused and it causes very similar issues, which can make being in a healthy relationship actually feel strange to you. I know all of this because I have gone though it myself and know many other women of varied backgrounds who have been there too. I started seeing a therapist and going to a support group and am finally in a pretty healthy relationship. I had to overcome father issues, insecurities, low self-esteem, and various other factors that were preventing me from finding and maintaining a healthy relationship. It was a hard personal journey, but it was worth it. I hope this helps. E-mail me if you want jenniferolson1979@yahoo.com
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By miss fashion on Mar 20, 2009 | Reply
first let me explain romantic how that works!
romance only comes when its new, its unavailable, its hidden, its not out there for sale!
now the way to have a good romantic relationship is: to not always be available, not always be there for them (so to speak you don’t have to give your entire self away the first second, it gets unexciting and unattractive!) that’s when the men usually stop being interested its boring they can always have you. they give you a call your there, they ask you for something you put it out there for them, this is not called being a good person its called not giving the ability to have romance that’s all! don’t be with him all the time! give him space to breath give him a chane he should be calling you too!
that’s also how you will know if a man is not interested in you any longer, he just wont be calling you!
so with your father the same don’t be there so much for him, let him miss you! let him call you! and i hope it will all work out there for you!
work this out! and you will thank me!
much success on that its hard the first bit, but it pays off its a good feeling to feel they are interested in you for not always being there!
(absence makes a heart grow fonder)
References :